by KMom
Copyright © 2000-2006 KMom@Vireday.Com. All rights reserved.
This FAQ last updated: February 2006
DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is not intended and should not be construed as medical advice. Consult your health provider.
BBW Birth Story Pages
BBW Birth Stories: Normal Vaginal Births
CONTENTS
Many women over the years have requested a section for birth stories of plus-sized moms. Large women come into pregnancy with so many fears and body issues that reassurance that other large women have indeed done this is important. Pregnancy books and most websites do not fulfill this need; mostly they are filled with warnings not to get pregnant until you lose weight, dire predictions of disastrous pregnancies filled with complications, or horror stories designed to scare you into compliance.
Although there are many birth stories online, most are of women of average-size. While these are also important to read, many large women have longed for a collection of stories of plus-sized pregnancy---normal births, complications, special births, just plain births---warts and all. It is important for us to see that many of our large sisters have traveled this journey before us.
This is a collection of BBW birth stories collected by Kmom over the years. Stories have been separated into various categories (vaginal birth, c-sections, twins, gd stories, etc.). Because some stories fit more than one category, many will repeat on different pages. Some stories are already up on the web in a more complete form elsewhere; with the mother's permission, Kmom has linked to these sites and urges readers to click on the link and read the more complete story.
Unless specifically requested, all identifying information has been removed or changed to protect the privacy of the participants. All stories are copyrighted; none may be used elsewhere without specific written permission from both Kmom and the mother involved.
This particular FAQ presents the stories of normal, mostly unremarkable vaginal births--something the media and some doctors would have us believe never occur! This FAQ shows that yes, fat women can have completely normal births too. Some births discussed here are completely natural with no medications or drugs of any kind, while others involve plenty of interventions such as inductions or epidurals (but which ended in a vaginal birth anyway). Some are hospital births much like you would see on TV, while others are homebirths, waterbirths, or even unassisted childbirth. The point is not to promote one particular style of birth, but to show the wide spectrum of births that large women have experienced. There is also another FAQ which covers normal vaginal births under special medical circumstances, such as high blood pressure or with twins, etc. Together, these FAQs prove that fat women can give birth vaginally too!!!!
More stories will be added over time, so keep checking back if you are interested in reading further stories. If you are interested in sharing your birth story, click here for more information, birth story format, and submission guidelines. New birth stories are always welcome; Kmom updates the birth stories FAQs about once or twice a year so be patient for your story to show up. If you do submit your story, please carefully follow the format and directions given in order to shorten the amount of work involved for Kmom. Kmom's family will thank you!
Most moms will recognize most of these terms, but women new to reading about childbirth may be puzzled by some of the terms and abbreviations used in these stories. This section briefly defines some of these in order to help women understand the stories better.
Birth Stories: Normal Vaginal Birth
Rachel's Story (homebirth, posterior)
Kmom's Notes: A wonderful homebirth, even with a posterior baby (facing towards mother's tummy instead of towards spine).
Birth Story:
Can be found online at www.childbirth.org/articles/stories/HH.html
Summary: This mother, a lawyer in New York City, originally intended to have a hospital birth with midwives, but changed her mind after touring the hospital. Also, all her lawyer friends in the area had had c-sections, and she felt there might be a tendency to practice defensive medicine with her due to her occupation. She then considered a birthing center but felt their guidelines were too rigid about transfer to hospitals, causing a very high transfer rate (about 20%). So she found a certified nurse-midwife in the area who delivered at home.
At 8 days overdue, she went into prodromal labor for 3 days (common with posterior presentations). She feels that at a hospital they would have forced the issue much earlier and added pitocin (which may well have caused a c/s if the baby did not turn). She finally went into regular labor on the 4th day, had painful back labor and progressed very slowly (other signs of a posterior baby). She finished dilating but had an 'anterior lip' left on the cervix (also common with posterior babies!); her midwife helped move the lip aside and get the baby through.
Pushing lasted only 40 minutes; she pushed in the semi-standing position. It's not clear if the baby turned before descent. She was born with only very minor tearing. Labor lasted about 15 hours, once it started up in earnest. In retrospect, she found labor hard (and it is with a posterior position!) but was very glad she had chosen a homebirth.
Kmom's Notes: This was a completely natural pregnancy. She didn't even have the doppler used (ultrasound) and refused all "necessary" prenatal testing, including routine ultrasound. She now also works as a doula, a professional labor support person.
Birth Story
I woke up at 3am Saturday morning to a gush of fluid. My contractions did not start immediately, so Sandi (my midwife) advised going back to bed and trying to sleep. She said to call her back when they were about 8 min apart.
Almost immediately contractions started and were 5 minutes apart, but only lasting about 30 to 45 seconds. I called Sandi back after an hour and told her I wanted to come in and have her check the baby's heartbeat. Unfortunately, I discovered that I had a fear of prolapsed cord - a residual of my horrendous hospital birth when I was confined to bed to "prevent" a prolapse, I'm sure. Contractions continued at this pace for the entire drive up (1 hour).
Sandi checked the heartbeat and did a Vaginal Exam (VE). Baby's fine, 2cm, 50% effaced. I went and lay down in the bed and relaxed for about another hour. At this point, my doulas and my Mother-In-Law (MIL) arrived. The contractions began to space apart. So, I got up to walk around hoping to start them up again. By 9:30 am the contractions were barely every 15 minutes. The family and I decided to go out to breakfast. We all traveled up the street and I had eggs and corned beef hash. We returned to the birth center at about 11 am and I spoke to Sandi about our options. State law in Florida is that active labor must be established by 12 hours after waters break or transfer (yuck!).
At 11:30 we started using the herb pennyroyal that I had brought. Boy, did it taste awful! Jim (dh) and I went for a walk around the neighborhood. Contractions were getting stronger but not really any closer together or longer. I continued to walk around inside the birth center (it was quite hot outside). I had another dose of pennyroyal at 12:30 and again at 1:30. Finally, my contractions were regular enough (5 min apart and 1 min long) to be considered active labor (yay!). I tried getting in the water to labor, but my contractions spaced out again (see how relaxing water is). I labored facing backward on the toilet, on all fours on the birth ball, sitting on the birth ball, sitting on the birth stool, laying on my side, walking around (whew!). At about 2 my family went and got roast beef sandwiches. Roast beef never tasted so good! All this time I continued to drink and pee. Sandi will back me up that I drank a total of 3 1/2 gallons!
At 9 Sandi faithfully and legally offered me IV antibiotics for GBS. I had not tested for it during pregnancy and my waters had been broken for 18 hours at this point. I refused. At 10:30 or so, we began transition-like contractions (I know this in hindsight) and Sandi did a VE, 6cm 80% effaced. I was very disappointed! 9 hours and only 4 cms progress! I learned my lesson. Next time, no VE! All my wonderful support, however, quickly reassured me and we got back in the groove.
I finally got in the tub again and labored there for about 1 1/2 hours. It was great, but I think it would have been more effective if the water had completely covered my abdomen. I was leaning on the side on my knees so that my abdomen would be completely submerged. My doulas were rubbing my back and pouring warm water over my back. After about an hour in this position, my legs were cramping, so I tried sitting, leaning back. It was a roman style tub and I kept sliding down into the water so I got out and labored on the bed for awhile. The contractions were now much more intense and lasting longer, some even triple peaking! Through the entire labor, though, I always had at least three minutes rest between contractions.
At this point I really began the self-doubt stage, crying, praying, yelling that I can't do it anymore. Freya (my 7 y-o daughter) later told me that this scared her more than my moaning or pushing noises. She thought that I might die! :'( I foolishly never explained transition to them. However, they had lots of support and were fine after my SIL explained that it was normal. At about 2:30 am the contractions were incredibly intense. I was really having a hard time moaning through them. I never really had an urge to push like I did with my other two. I felt Kelson move down and the contractions began to feel as if they were trying to pull my uterus down. Sandi checked me and I had a small lip that she held as I pushed through a couple of contractions.
I pushed on the bed for about 20 minutes while they refilled the tub. I got into the tub and what a difference! It was so much easier to concentrate on the feelings and push gently and with my body. Soon, I could feel Kelson's head sliding down the birth canal and then the ring of fire. Sandi reminded me to push gently and I slowly pushed out his head. There was no cord around the neck, so I pushed out the rest of him and held him in my arms! It was 3:05 am. Exactly 5 minutes over 24 hours from SROM. He was 8 lbs 6 oz, 21 inches. Alec (my 5 year-old son) peeked under the towel and announced, "It's a boy!". This was a surprise as most of us had believed him to be a girl!! After the cord was done pulsating, Freya tried to cut it. It was too hard, so Daddy helped her.
This pregnancy and birth was the most amazing experience! Everything was exactly the way _I_ wanted. Kelson had _nothing_ done to him. No shots, tests, unnecessary procedures. The whole family fell asleep until about 8 am. We went home about 9:30 and stopped for bagels on the way home! I definitely want to repeat the experience someday.
-Darla the Doula, Birth Doula (Mom to Freya, highly interventive vaginal birth; Alec, natural birth; and Kelson, waterbirth)
Barbara's Story (group B Strep, vaginal birth)
Kmom's Notes:
Birth Story
This was my first pregnancy, and was "textbook." I had no gestational diabetes, no high blood pressure, no pre-eclampsia, nothing. I also had a very wonderful OB who never made my weight an issue and was never anything but friendly and professional towards me.
By the time I reached my 39th week of pregnancy, I had been having lots of Braxton Hicks (BH) contractions for a couple of weeks, and losing pieces of my mucous plug, but nothing was really happening. I was dilating and effacing, but had no idea when labor would finally arrive.
On Tues, October 19th, I began having contractions that were the real thing, but 25-35 min apart. On Wed, I went to my 39 week appointment, and found that I was 4 cms dilated and 90% effaced. My OB said he didn't expect me to make it through the night and told me to cancel my next appointment. This is coming from a man who had been refusing to make any kind of predictions.
At around 5 pm that evening (Oct 20), my contractions became much stronger and were now 10-15 minutes apart. We spent the next 8 hours at home, watching them get closer and closer together, walking around the block, and practicing relaxation techniques. Finally, at around 1 AM, they were around 6 minutes apart and we decided to leave for the hospital.
I labored for another 5 hours in my LDR room, using the whirlpool tub and walking up and down the hallway until the dr. came and broke my water at 6 AM. After that, the contractions got much harder and more difficult to breathe through and tolerate. I took a shot of Demerol at 7 AM when they said I was now 7 cms. It didn't do much for the pain, but it did allow me to sleep between contractions.
The time between 7 and 9:30 AM were the absolute worst. I had no idea the pain and sensations could be that intense. Finally, at around 9:30 I began feeling an urge to push. The nurse checked and said I was 9 1/2 cms, fully effaced but still had a small lip. I went through another 2 or 3 contractions, trying not to push and thinking I wasn't going to make it much longer, when they told me to go ahead. I pushed through 4 or 5 contractions, I think, when the nurses started yelling at me to stop and ran to call the dr. Fortunately, his office is across the street from the hospital, or the nurses may have had to deliver the baby.
The dr. came running in, threw on a gown, dropped his gloves on the floor and had the student nurse running around the room looking for a new pair. At this point, the baby's head was crowning. The nurses were yelling at me to stop pushing, but he told them to leave me alone and that I had no control over this. No kidding! I pushed once and her head was out, one more time for the shoulders, and one more little one and there she was!
She weighed in at 8 lbs, 3 oz and was 21 1/2 inches long. She has a full head of dark hair, and nurses beautifully. I could not have hoped for a better baby. It was the perfect end to a very normal and happy pregnancy.
Jameel's Story (Supersized, Group B Strep, Homebirth)
Kmom's Notes:
Birth Story
Mike and I have been married eight years. When we met, we both had office jobs. But about three years later he decided to become an over-the-road truck driver. This worked out really well for our relationship, but when we lived in the Midwest, he was only home on the weekends. In the Fall of 2002 we moved to the East Coast, and by the next summer we decided to start trying to have a child. Mike got a trucking job that had him home four days a week and by September of 2003 we were pregnant.
A couple of years before, I had read a book called Birthing From Within and decided then that I was interested in having a child, as long as I could have it naturally, at home. Before that I hadn’t realized how much fear I had had about birth. I think I thought an over weight person automatically equaled an unhealthy person, and therefore, a complicated birth. It was really important to me that the birthing experience be positive, and a homebirth seemed like the best way to accomplish that. The feeling that this decision was the best choice for me was very strong, and I was looking forward to additional research on homebirths and its issues. I discussed it with Mike and he seemed fine with the idea – probably because he had never thought about it before, and had no idea what to expect.
Shortly after we were pregnant I started looking for a midwife. I found “Vee”, a Certified Nurse Midwife who specialized in homebirths. She had worked in hospitals for years and then later decided to open her own practice. I asked her if she had any concerns about my weight, and she didn’t. She provided all the care and services I needed throughout the entire pregnancy.
I only wanted one or two ultrasounds, and we decided we wanted to be surprised with the gender. I had all the standard tests throughout the pregnancy, most of which came back normal. I was concerned about getting gestational diabetes (because of my weight and family history), but my sugar levels were always fine. I did test positive for Group B Strep, so Vee and I discussed possible issues that may arise because of that. We determined that if my water broke early during the labor process it would be necessary to monitor my temperature to see if an infection was getting into my uterus.
The baby was due on June 15, 2004. About a week before the due date I woke in the middle of the night with what I thought were contractions. They were 13 minutes apart, and felt like muscle cramps in my lower abdomen. However, as soon as I sat up, they stopped and didn’t return – false labor. This happened again around the 18th or so. On June 20th, around 7PM, I started having real contractions that felt more like menstrual cramps. They weren’t that painful and I was actually able to sleep on and off that night. Mike called his boss and told him he wouldn’t be in the next week.
By Monday the 21st I felt like I was officially in labor. The surges were regular, lasting about 30 seconds every five minutes or so. However, they weren’t that much work as I was able to walk around between, make phone calls, answer e-mails, etc. I called Vee around 4PM, described the symptoms and she said I should give her a call around 7PM to see how I was doing. A little later Vee came over and checked my cervix and the baby’s heartbeat. She didn’t want to place a number on how dilated I was (because she knew I would be doing the math to try to figure out when this baby would arrive!), but she said everything was progressing along fine.
By then labor was a bit more work. I had figured out that sitting or lying down through a contraction was much more painful than standing. When I had to go to the bathroom, if I would have a contraction while sitting on the toilet, afterwards I would feel so sick I would vomit. This happened twice and I realized that sitting through a contraction was not for me! And if I laid down too long, the surges would slow down or not be as intense. I thought that would delay things too much, so I would get up and walk around, thinking that would speed up the arrival of the baby. I would sit on the edge of my bed, and when a surge would come along, I would stand up, lean on the arm of our treadmill and Mike would rub my back.
By midnight or so, Mike and I were tired, and we needed some kind of feedback from Vee on how much longer this would take. She checked me again, and said that I was still in the early stages of labor and it may be a while before the baby would be born. We decided that I needed some rest, so I propped myself up in a chair knowing things would slow down a bit, but maybe I could get some rest. Mike went to sleep and Vee went home and told me to call if I felt things were changing.
Around 4:30AM on June 22nd I was tired. By this time I realized that I had been a bit arrogant about how much work this would all entail. I remember thinking that I had assumed that this would be easier than it was, and I needed to face the fact that if I wanted this baby out this was going to be hard work. I remember thinking that, although I knew the Lord had been with me throughout this whole experience, my faith in Him was going to carry me through this. My need for prayer kicked in right then.
I called Vee who suggested that I get in a bath to see if that would feel good to me. I was reluctant because I didn’t want to go through the trouble of changing positions again. But I realized something had to change, so I tried it. What a difference! I filled the tub, laid down on my side, and had the shower spray hot water down on me. The surges were very mild and I was actually able to sleep for a few hours.
By 7AM or so, Vee came back and I told her how wonderful the water felt, although I was sure I hadn’t progressed since I wasn’t that uncomfortable. She checked the baby’s heartbeat and my cervix and said that I had dilated almost twice as far, and my cervix was extremely soft. We decided that the birthing tub was the way to go. Mike and Vee started setting up the tub in our bedroom, while I labored next to the treadmill.
They filled the tub with warm water, and crawling into it was heaven! I tried going through contractions in several different positions until I found that leaning over the edge of the tub while kneeling was the most comfortable way to labor. Mike put a warm wet towel on my back and would hold my hips whenever a surge would come along. One of my kitty cats chose a spot on a chair near the tub and we all patiently waited as I labored along. I remember reminding my husband that I’ll need verbal reassurance and support with each surge. At one point he told me that I looked like Sara Connor. “Who is Sara Connor?” I asked. “From the second Terminator movie,” he said. “You look wild.”
Later I felt my water break and called Vee over. She said that I needed to get out of the tub so she could check to make sure my water was clear. I stood up and had a very painful contraction which sent me right back into the water. A few minutes later I tried standing up again – another contraction. She decided to check me while I was in the tub. She checked the waters, my cervix and the baby’s heartbeat. “Jameel, you’re having this baby before lunch!” she said. “What time is it now?” I asked. It was 11:30AM. I shooed my cat off of the chair and used that to crawl out of the tub onto the bed.
I started to feel the urge to push with each contraction once I was on the bed. I tried pushing while on all fours for awhile. Then Mike sat on the edge of the bed while I leaned into his lap. Vee and her assistant, “Ann”, sat behind me constantly monitoring the baby’s heartbeat. All my pushing took a lot of focus and I remember that I didn’t want to open my eyes or be otherwise distracted. Mike would constantly say reassuring things to me, and the midwives were telling me how well I was doing after each push.
After some time I asked her how much of the head was out. She suggested that I reach back and feel, but I didn’t want to. She said she could see the hair. I asked, “Can you see the forehead?” and she replied, “Not yet.” I exasperatingly said, “This is taking too long. In the movies this part is always faster.” She reassured me that this is taking exactly how long this is supposed to take and everything was progressing nicely. So I continued to push with each surge. My focus was to muster the energy to get two good pushes in with each contraction. She asked if I wanted to try a different position, but I was too tired to move around. Ann brought me a cup of orange juice but it was too sweet. I just wanted ice water. I felt her put a cool cloth on the back of my neck, but for some reason I wanted the cloth on my feet instead (??).
I could feel the head coming out more and more, and that motivated me to want to try to push more than twice with each surge. I tried to push a third time and maybe a fourth time, but I was tired. Vee suggested that I wait until I have another contraction before trying to push again. But I wanted the baby out! Finally, Vee suggested that I try a different position again. I turned around and put my back to my husband’s stomach. He held me up while I pushed. I’m not sure how many pushes it took, but it didn’t take much. I felt the baby slide right out and she put him on my chest.
I remember my first thought was, “Oh, well that wasn’t so bad.” Then my second thought was, “Why did I just think that?” I immediately had this burst of energy while I looked at the baby. He was trying to open his eyes, but the light on the bedside table was too bright. We turned off the light and his eyes opened right up. Then I felt another contraction, much milder. Vee said that it would stop once I pushed out the placenta, but I was in a funny position on the edge of the bed, and Mike was pinned behind me. Finally, Mike wiggled out, sat me on the bed, and I was able to sit up. He helped cut the cord and I pushed out the placenta. I laid on the bed to look at the baby. “It’s a boy!”
Quinton Alexander was born at 2:02PM on June 22, 2004.
Since I’ve had the baby, many people have told me that they think I was very brave. That makes me laugh, because I feel like I made the easiest birthing choice. I’m trying to imagine going through all of this in a hospital, and I just can’t. Would I have been able to try so many different positions? Would I have been encouraged to do something to speed things along? And how would have that affected the outcome? And I know that I wouldn’t have felt as comfortable there than in my own home.
Could something have gone wrong? Sure. But I believe the chances of that are greatly reduced by allowing my body to labor the way it wanted to. Also, I trusted my midwife, and I trusted my body that whatever could have happened, would be manageable.
The whole experience was wonderful. The baby is beautiful and healthy. I thank the Lord for all the wonderful blessings he has given my family.
Kmom's Notes: Some women who have been on phen-fen found their cycles messed up afterwards; in others it helped their cycles. Many women with insulin resistance have reported, however, that a low- or moderate-carb food plan helped restore their cycles fairly reliably. (Kmom has deep reservations about the very low carb diets, but a moderate plan seems more reasonable.)
Birth Story
I have struggled with my weight my whole life. My mother was overweight and had me on her diets before I even started school so dieting has been a part of my life since I can remember...[I yo-yo'd up and down the scale quite a lot.] Right before I met my husband I had lost 70 lbs by taking doctor prescribed phentermine. I had gained back 20 lbs by our wedding and a year later the rest. Nevertheless, my husband is very loving and accepting of me. He still thinks that I am beautiful and admits that he prefers a padded woman to a scrawny one. By my early 20s I had begun to have irregular cycles. This had never really worried me until after my marriage. We knew that we wanted children and with my post-marital weight gain my periods had gone awry. I took numerous pregnancy tests and finally went to an OB.
They examined me and found everything ok. When I asked about stabilizing my menstrual cycles he advised that if they didn't stabilize on their own soon that he could prescribe hormone pills. I thought, Ugh, No way! I hadn't had a period since May 1997 and since we were interested in becoming pregnant we stopped using protection during sex. In January of 1998 my husband and I both decided to lose some weight and began a low-carbohydrate diet. I successfully lost 11 lbs in the first month and got down to 248 lbs. Imagine my surprise when I became pregnant in that month! It was several weeks before I realized that I actually was pregnant since I had no period to time it by. The emotional swings and general feeling of malaise were the first subtle hints. I stopped the low carb diet. I found myself crying for silly reasons at work. I honestly thought that I was having a nervous breakdown. The key was when my breasts noticeably changed. The next day I bought a pregnancy test.
On some level I had always wanted to have my baby at home but assumed that I would give birth at the hospital like everyone else I knew. In my childbirth class my husband and I learned a lot about traditional hospital policies and procedures that disturbed us. This convinced me that I wanted to have as natural a birth as possible because of the benefits to both mother and child. The group of obstetricians I began seeing were very traditional and had high rates of epidurals and episiotomies -- things I did not want. I decided to seek some alternate form of healthcare. My husband and I decided to investigate home birthing. We researched the facts and prayed for God's wisdom and guidance. My childbirth instructors had told me about Sharon's homebirth midwifery practice. I scheduled an appointment and we met.
After talking with Sharon I knew that I wanted to try home birth. As a back-up plan I also begin seeing a Certified Nurse Midwife in an OB's practice. During my pregnancy I followed the Brewer Diet, a diet which includes a lot of protein, calcium, fruits, green, yellow and orange vegetables. I limited my intake of sweets - though it was hard to give up my ice cream during that hot summer. I actually lost weight during my first trimester, common in plus-sized women. In all I gained about 25 lbs throughout the pregnancy with the majority gained during the 6 weeks preceding my labor.
I had been expecting labor to start any day since late September. Early in the week I had experienced some loose bowel movements and thought I may have passed my mucus plug. On Friday morning, October 9th , I had a little bloody show and was excited. I thought, This is it! I had a weekly appointment ; I was not even dilated one centimeter and my cervix had not noticeably effaced. I left her office feeling hopeful that labor would begin soon. I passed some very unusual mucus on Friday and Saturday but other than a few Braxton Hicks contractions nothing else happened all weekend. We took a few walks hoping to get something going and I stayed a bit on edge waiting.
In the early a.m. hours on Monday morning the Braxton Hicks contractions became strong enough to rouse me from a sound sleep -- normally no easy task. For two hours the contractions came every eight to ten minutes and were uncomfortable enough to cause me to stop whatever I was doing and just focus on relaxing. I knew from my reading that I should try to get as much sleep as possible and so I took a nap. When I woke back up the contractions had abated and lost their regularity. [I had irregular BH Contractions over the next day; I walked trying to get things going.]
[The next day I had more BH contractions. My midwife came over late that afternoon.] When Sharon somewhat reluctantly checked me at around 5 p.m. she was surprised to find that I was dilated to 3-4 cms and very thin. She had thought it likely that I was still experiencing "false" labor and didn't want me to be discouraged. At that point Sharon suspected that the birth would occur that night but was still cautious in her evaluation. After all, I was a first time mother and my mother's history included a slow twenty-four hour labor. Sharon went home with her son, leaving instructions for us to call her when the contractions were two minutes apart. As she left my house at 5 p.m. I had a contraction that actually took my breath away. My mom called from work and I told her the news but told her to stay where she was, probably there would not be any major action before she got off work at 9 p.m. However, by 6 p.m. the contractions were coming more intensely requiring support from my husband and closing in on the 2 minute mark. My husband and I decided to take a hot shower. The water on my back felt heavenly while he supported me through several contractions.
When we got out of the shower we decided it was time to call Sharon. At this point I felt that I couldn't get through a contraction without my husband's immediate presence. His hands and steady pressure on my lower back helped me to focus and made the contractions more bearable. We walked the house together a bit and tried several positions during the contractions. The one that felt best to me was on my knees leaning over some pillows piled on top of a footstool. He could really press into my back, giving a lot of relief. Between the contractions (about two minutes apart) he was running around the house trying to do the [last-minute nesting] things I requested.
When my mom called back a little after 6:30 p.m. we told her to come - things were progressing quicker than anticipated. She arrived at our house right after Sharon got here at around 7p.m. At that point the contractions were quite intense and painful enough for me to cry out with moans and some wails. I wondered if the neighbors would call the police to investigate the strange sounds. Sharon gave me another exam and found me at approximately 7 cms. She immediately called her assistant, Lori. Transition was starting. This time period is mostly a blur. I have to go by what everyone else tells me about it. I remember experiencing intense physical sensation - a different kind of pain than I'd ever experienced - and a timelessness. From the beginning of transition until Simon was born I felt like I'd entered a different dimension where time didn't exist. There were just the contractions and the time between. Everything else moved in slow motion. Between the contractions when I tried to speak I thought I was speaking normally and became a bit frustrated when Roger had to translate everything I said - no one else could hear or understand me.
Most of transition was spent either on the floor bent over the ottoman or on the toilet two feet away. Everyone present has confirmed that I was quite loud during the contractions and that there was a definite difference from the previous contractions. Transition lasted about 45 minutes and was without doubt the hardest part of the delivery. The contractions were like a force of nature, powerful and beyond any control. Sharon finally confirmed that I was nearly complete, only a slight lip left, so she gave it a little nudge to help it along then gave me permission to begin pushing.
The next stage of labor was very different from what I had expected. First, I didn't feel a strong urge to push and, second, for some reason I thought the contractions wouldn't hurt anymore during this stage. I learned that pushing into the contractions somehow made the pain go away and replaced it with really intense pressure. I didn't want anyone to touch me. This was hard work and no comforting touches could help me. I tried several different positions during the pushing; standing, on my side, sitting up with hubby behind me, but didn't feel like I was making any progress. I just felt a strong heaviness in my pelvis. This part of labor was the most tiring. While on the floor resting on the ottoman during one push I felt like a blister was bursting between my legs and I felt my water break. This was only about twenty or thirty minutes before my son was born.
At one point during the pushing I told Sharon that I was too tired to continue, she replied, "That's okay. The contractions won't stop and your body will push the baby out on its own." Grrr! That motivated me to continue pushing. The most helpful thing at this stage were Sharon's fingers directing my pushing efforts. She would occasionally touch me and tell me to push to that spot. It gave me direction and a focus. I started to feel a bit queasy and at the end of one contraction felt that I was almost going to pass out. My mother recognized low blood sugar and got me a glass of orange juice. I only took two sips but they seemed to give me a lift. I remember saying a quick prayer asking God for strength and help, then I turned over and got on my hands and knees on the bed. Somehow I had found a determination and strength to be finished with this. Sharon called my mother in to see the top of baby's head as it started to peek during the height of the pushes and then on one push I got him past the pelvic bone and he was ready to crown. She had just applied the warm oil compress to ease the burning and stretching - a ring of fire indeed! It was a wonderful relief.
Trying to encourage me, she told me to feel my baby's head but I was completely focused on pushing. I think I took Sharon by surprise at this point. She told my hubby to hurry and scrub his hands so he could catch the baby. I didn't stop pushing - this baby was coming out now! On the next push baby's head was delivered, then Sharon told me to stop - I paused briefly while she helped the baby to turn his shoulders - then I gave one last push and he was fully delivered.
My son was born at 10:10 p.m. I collapsed my upper body on some pillows and asked someone to help me turn over to see my baby. My mother held him up while I rearranged myself then he was placed on my stomach. Sharon directed hubby in cutting the cord after it had stopped pulsating then I brought my son to my chest. I had a milder contraction and in one little push delivered the placenta while sitting up holding my baby. At this point Sharon took him from me to give him a quick wipe and bundled him tightly then everyone left so that Roger and I could have some time alone. We turned off the lamp and lit several candles and spent about an hour just looking at our baby in awe.
Sharon called her husband with the news and was heard to say that I was such an awesome birther that I should have a dozen children! This experience is one I wouldn't trade for the world and I plan to deliver any future children God blesses us with at home as well. I think that this experience gave me the same kind of self-knowledge that some people seek by doing extraordinary things - like climbing mountains or running marathons. I think that I understand myself, my limits and abilities better than ever before. I am more sure of my own strength and power.
Kathy2's Story (Supersized, induction, vaginal birth)
Kmom's Notes: It's very common to elect an epidural very late in the dilation process when the pain seems overwhelming, get into position for it to be administered, get it, and then be completely dilated and ready to push shortly thereafter. There are several possibilities here: the position that you have to get into for getting an epidural (spine curved over) often finishes the last bit of dilation needed and a simple position change might have eliminated the need for an epidural; or the epidural relief relaxes the woman enough to finish dilating quickly. Probably it's a little bit of both. But often just when a woman needs the epidural most, she's nearly done, and assuming that epidural position can often finish the process for some women without getting the drugs. It's a trick many professional labor support people know to try before actually resorting to the epidural.
Birth Story
My official due date came and went with absolutely so signs of impending labor, so Dr. T scheduled an induction for October 18. We were supposed to report to the hospital at 7:30 am on Monday, October 18, but they were full, so we couldn't come in until 2:00 pm. They gave me prostaglandin to soften the cervix. At 7:00 pm they started the pitocin. For two hours nothing happened. Finally, a little after 9:00 pm, the contractions began. By 11:00 pm I needed to concentrate during the contractions. By midnight I had to start using my breathing exercises through contractions. At 1:00 am, I was between 3 and 4 cm! As the nurse checked me, my water broke.
Contractions started to pick up almost immediately after my water broke, and I asked hubby (DH) to call our doula, H. H and the nurse provided suggestions on different laboring positions, and DH provided my emotional support. DH was completely wonderful, angelically patient, and absolutely perfect throughout the entire experience. During the interval from 2:00 am to 5:00 the mood started to get more and more serious, as my contractions kept getting stronger.
At 5:00 am I was at 6 cm but the baby was still very high at -3 station. The contractions became a lot more uncomfortable, and I started to doubt that I could make it much further without pain medications. By 5:30 am I asked for an epidural. They told me that there was an anesthesiologist on the floor, and that he would be here in about ten minutes. Well, ten minutes took over an hour.
The anesthesiologist arrived at 6:30 am, and it took him quite a while to set up. I had to sit up and hunch over and not move a muscle as he was injecting needles into my spine. This was torture, because I was having transition contractions one on top of another. Finally, at 7 am, the medicine started flowing. But instead of feeling less pain, I felt the urge to push. I was 9 cm with only a lip of a cervix left. It was difficult to blow through the contractions instead of pushing like my body wanted to do. Fortunately, at 7:30 am, I was 10 cm and ready to push! The epidural deadened my pain, but I still felt some pain and a very clear urge to push. I guess I was a good pusher, because at only 7:45 the nurse told me to STOP pushing because we had to wait for Dr. T to deliver this baby!
Finally, at about 8:10 Dr. T had arrived and set up, and I could start pushing again. After one or two contractions, the head was out. After one more "light push", my son was born -- 8:15 am. He cried lustily for a few minutes, long enough to assure everyone that he was breathing just fine, then he settled down. His APGAR scores were 9 and 9. He was 9 lbs., 3 oz, 19 1/2 inches -- a big baby, and perfectly healthy. We were discharged two days later, to go home as a little family.
To all of you who are contemplating pregnancy or are recently pregnant and concerned that your weight dooms you to a problem pregnancy and/or an unhealthy baby, let me tell you that at my experience has been almost entirely problem-free in spite of my weight -- 350 lbs at delivery (yikes!). Other than low progesterone early in pregnancy, I had a completely normal pregnancy. And other than needing to be induced for being 11 days overdue, I had a completely normal delivery. And my baby has a perfect bill of health. I wish everyone the best of luck in their pregnancies. Here's to happy, healthy babies!
Bfing: I had a lot of difficulties with breastfeeding at first. In fact, this proved to be BY FAR the most difficult aspect of bringing my baby into the world. We had a lot of difficulties with latch on, as he would not open his mouth very wide and my nipples did not protrude as much as I would have liked. Also, my breasts are very full and poorly supported, so I couldn't figure out how to manipulate them into his mouth. Then when I got engorged, my breasts turned into two huge rocks. He lost a full pound off his birth weight. I consulted a lactation consultant and things improved for a little while, but then they fell apart again. I eventually resorted to using a pump and bottle-feeding him my expressed breast milk. This was extremely difficult on me and I spent a lot of time crying. With lots of additional support from several lactation consultants, we eventually got him back on the breast and he has been eating well and gaining well since about 2.5 weeks. He is now 10.5 weeks old and exclusively breast-fed. I plan to continue exclusively breastfeeding until at least 6 months, maybe longer.
In this adventure, I learned a few things the hard way. First, be as prepared as possible before-hand with information on breastfeeding. I found "Nursing Woman's Companion" to be indispensable. Read it before the birth of your baby because you won't have time afterwards. Second, get competent help as soon as you THINK you might need it. If you are having any kind of difficulties, they will usually get worse unless addressed properly. Third, experiment a lot with different positions and different kinds of support pillows. Advice that works well for a small-breasted woman might be useless for you. The only thing that I found worked for me was the cross-cradle position using the large nursing pillow from Baby Becoming. I could have spared myself a lot of pain if I had read Kmom's breastfeeding FAQ before he was born, as this document told me most everything which I had figured out the hard way. This advice is pertinent to all women, but especially critical for large-breasted women because a lot of common advice doesn't work "off-the-shelf" for us.
Robyn's Story (2 hospital births, then home waterbirth)
Kmom's Notes: Robyn consistently measured 'large' for dates by uterine size, which is a concern to many doctors, yet had average-sized babies. Larger women often do 'measure large' in pregnancy, making it appear to the doctor like they are going to have huge babies, so they are often subject to a great deal of intervention as a result. Although larger women do tend to have larger babies, fundal measurement (of uterine size) in larger women is not an accurate measure of the resulting baby size.
It is not realistic to expect a size 5 woman and a size 26 baby to have the same fundal measurements, despite a similarly-sized baby; larger women start with more padding and therefore generally tend to measure larger all along. What's more important is the consistency of measurement; if you always measure 3 cm 'bigger' and then suddenly measure 7 cm bigger, the doctor will have a more legitimate reason for concern. However, do be aware that measuring fundal height is extremely subjective; two different providers often come up with different measurements on the same person, same day. Also, the baby's position can influence a sudden increase in measurement as well. Fundal measurement is important as a general guideline, but is not very objective and needs to be taken with a significant grain of salt in large women in particular.
Birth Story
My first pregnancy was uneventful during pregnancy and birth. 8 hour labor start to finish, uncomplicated vaginal birth. My second pregnancy's labor was 6 hours, start to finish. Very intense, short births! I maintained a good diet and took my vitamins.
What is ironic is that they kept saying I wasn't in labor because no contractions showed up on the monitor both births (due to my "padding" monitoring me for contractions is useless). However when I was checked I was 4cm and moving quickly. Baby born few hours later. So much for me not being in labor! I managed to convince them by throwing up :O)
Once they realized they simply couldn't pick up the contractions, they were more accommodating. They were very good in every other aspect of my labor (except for the epidural which they "wet tapped", meaning they went too far causing unbelievable headaches for days). My weight did not play into my doctor's decisions, but I was very carefully in finding an OB that would not give me a hassle as I had run across that before and refused to accept it for this pregnancy!
Here is the link to my birth story: http://personal.mco.bellsouth.net/mco/d/m/dmatpm/Tjbirth.htm
Postscript: "Baby #3 arrived today at 10: 49 a.m. with a splash! An awesome home water birth. He weighed in at 9 lbs. 4 ounces 21 inches." This baby arrived in a very fast <3 hour labor at 41 weeks, 5 days. Robyn labored and delivered in a tub or birthing pool, supported by her family and her doula, midwife, etc. About this birth, she says "It was very different having this baby at home. My first two were hospital epidural births. It was nice not to have monitors and vaginal exams or have to deal with strangers at the hospital. I would definitely do it again at home. It wasn't exactly what I imagined it would be like, but the experience was good." The story of this birth (including pictures) can be found at http://personal.mco.bellsouth.net/mco/d/m/dmatpm/mattox/story.html.
Another postscript: Baby #4, a girl, was also born at home a few years later. Here is her story.
I started having contractions early. They would peter out and then come back. I went to the midwives' office and had her check me. Still no change from last week, 2 cm and no effacement. She stretched my cervix and I was a good 3 before I left. After a few hours of steady contractions, I had the midwife come check me. No change, still 3 though. She stretched again using the Evening Primrose Oil, and I got to 4. By 10 p.m. no change, still 4. The contractions were strong and steady but manageable.
After a long discussion on it, I decided to have her break my water. The contractions were extreme then! I got in the shower and just labored. Lights off, in the dark. The midwife just sat by the shower door and talked me through contractions. I had a house full of people, but I had them all stay on the other side of the house. The midwife said I needed to get out and move around. So I did. About 15 minutes out of the shower I asked to get in the tub. I was really having to work through contractions now with a lot of vocalizing and saying, "no, no, no!" The midwife brought me back into focus and I asked to get into the tub. Once I did I relaxed and felt pressure.
The next contraction I yelled 'push' and just grunted and pushed. She came out all in one motion. No tearing, although it felt like I tore. She is doing great and nursing well. I still can't believe she is here!
I always know the pain is hard, but the end results are worth it. I couldn't tell myself that at the time though. I figured [the midwife] would check me and I would still be the same! I was shocked when I felt her move down so quickly and then out, all in the span of about 2 minutes. My water was broken at 2:10 a.m., she was born at 4:17 a.m. Same 2 hours it took her brother before her!
Kimberly's Story (posterior, induced vaginal birth)
Kmom's Notes: Another 'typical posterior' story. Her bag of waters broke before labor (not unusual with posterior babies because they tend to put uneven pressure on the amniotic sac), she dilated but had an 'anterior lip' (9.5 cm) that was difficult to finish, and she 'got stuck' in the second stage (pushing), almost leading to a c-section. In the end, however, the baby came unstuck and was born face-up just as she was being wheeled in for a c/s. Although it's not easy for a baby to be born posterior, it can certainly happen, especially if the baby's head finally molded enough to go through, the head slipped into a better position, or the chin suddenly tucked down (which reduces the head diameter that has to go through). Whatever happened, something occurred that allowed the baby to be born suddenly.
As a follow-up note, Kimberly notes that her first baby was also posterior (turned after hands/knees position), and that her mother and maternal grandmother also had some posterior babies. This second baby had a touch of jaundice, but that is common aftereffect of induction with pitocin.
Birth Story
I guess you could say I am a classic example of how average and "normal" a pregnancy and birth can be for a larger woman. C was conceived easily, one month after we started 'trying'. My pregnancy was fairly uneventful, except my doctor actually got concerned that I was LOSING weight. I found that my heightened sense of smell, couple with all-day morning sickness made eating a less-than-wonderful chore. In the end I delivered at a weight of 269 and left the hospital at 249, almost 20 lbs. less than pre-pregnancy. All of my health-care providers (nurses, etc.) were fantastic throughout the pregnancy, and I only had to ask once for the large bp cuff (new nurse).
My labor was induced with iv pitocin because my water had broken without real contractions for more than 12 hours. The presentation was [posterior], which slowed things down considerably, and put me in misery with back labor. During the final hours of labor I spent at least 2-2.5 hours on my hands and knees with my husband and nurse applying pressure to my lower back to manage the pain. The nurse also talked me through a lot of visualization, who knows if that helped? It almost seems like I was keeping her stuck because I couldn't relax through the pain.
The baby "got stuck" trying to pass into the birth canal and the doctors had decided that a cesarean was in order, which was fine by me at that point (was stuck at 9.5 cm, fully effaced for over 2 hours). When they mentioned c-section I finally relaxed because I knew that I wouldn't have to do the impossible (push her out) and BOOM there she was. The baby had other plans!
As I was being wheeled across the hall to the shiny metal-filled delivery room, she decided she was coming "unstuck" and fast....I was crowning in the hall and I shrieked that the baby was coming NOW and a nurse reached down and held her in till we got to delivery. She shot out like a wriggling cannonball (as my husband put it) about 5 seconds later. She had a touch of jaundice but that didn't even require bili lights and we went home about 40 hours later.
Christina's Story (med-free vaginal birth)
Kmom's Notes: Christina is a doula, a professional labor-support person.
Birth Story
My first 2 pregnancies were completely average. I was 135 at the beginning of my first, gained 25 lbs and promptly lost it within a month after the baby. My second pregnancy I gained close to 70 lbs, still haven't lost it yet. When we set about trying for our 3rd I only briefly thought about my weight. I knew many big moms who did fine so I figured I would too.
I choose to see a midwife, which was the best decision I made. She never commented on my weight in a negative way. We talked about eating healthy and trying to drink water and that was about it. I felt comfortable with her and tried to eat sensibly. My pregnancy progressed as normal, I didn't gain much until the end. But even then my midwife never commented to me. I guess, my focus was on having a healing birth after the trauma of my second, long story about that. So I never really thought about my weight as a factor. I was very lucky to have both a midwife and a loving husband to support me.
The labor part was wonderful. I was in labor for about 10 hours. It went absolutely the way it should. At the end when he was out we all thought he was a little big but had no idea until they weighed him how big he was. I'm so happy about the way the pregnancy went and how the labor was that we are trying for our 4th now. I am heavier now than at my top pregnancy weight but I don't even think about it. I guess sites like these have helped me realize how weight is just a number and the point in life is to feel comfortable with yourself.
Aliza's Story (Supersized,1 terrible vaginal birth, 1 terrific vaginal birth)
Kmom's Notes: This mom had a terrible birth experience the first time around. Although the birth was vaginal, it was very traumatic and the treatment very poor. (Vaginal births can be very traumatic sometimes. Nancy Wainer Cohen calls these "vaginal cesareans", and they too often need healing.) It's also interesting to note that the poor treatment she received was at the hands of on-call hospital midwives who handled her birth; in her second birth she had the private OB she saw for prenatals in both pregnancies. Proof that on occasion, midwives aren't always better!
Aliza worked very proactively the second time around to change things. Between pregnancies, she sought counseling for food/body issues and really gained more trust and respect for her body. She used her supportive and size-friendly OB for birth too (not just prenatals), hired a doula (professional labor support person), worked on body trust, and actively did positive visualizations of birth, etc. It really can make a difference!
Birth Story
I'm originally from Melbourne, Australia, although I've been living in Israel for the past ten years. The system here is quite different from the States. The public health system allows you to see a ob/gyn throughout your pregnancy and then one registers at one of the local hospitals and your baby is delivered by a midwife who just happens to be on call. You can even have a number of midwives throughout a single delivery as they change shifts every 8 hours. One may also see a private doctor at own expense throughout one's pregnancy and may also take this same dr. for the delivery at the hospital where the dr. has "rights".
First Pregnancy: My first pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage at about 10 weeks in March 1993. After that I tried naturally to conceive including losing a significant amount of weight which my dr. said would help ovulation resume. When that didn't help and I was feeling desperate, I finally said I wanted help. My son was conceived on my first round of Clomid.
Second Pregnancy, First Birth: From the very beginning of the pregnancy I was pessimistic. From the third week (one week after conception) I had severe abdominal pain which my dr. could not diagnose and said that it was too early in the preg. for him to do anything -- either it'll continue or it won't. By the end of the fourth month, the pains subsided (I had basically been experiencing the pains whenever I moved and had quit my job and put myself on bed rest) and I then began questioning my dr. about all the problems I assumed would happen as a result of my weight. My dr. was okay in that he said that certain problems would be more likely; however, we'd deal with *if* they came up. Regarding my weight, he had said originally that I would probably put on less than thin women and he would like to see no more than a 6 kg gain. I lost steadily in the first few months and my the end of the ninth month, I'd gained a total of 8kg which was fine with him.
During the last six weeks of my second pregnancy (first birth), my BP went up a bit and I had to be monitored every two days (b/p, NST, u/s). This constant worrying and not knowing what would happen worked havoc on my sanity and by the time I was induced at 42 weeks, I was a mental mess. The treatment in the hospital was vastly different from my private dr. They made me feel bad as if it was my fault that my BP was up, as if no thin women ever had elevated BP in late pregnancy.
The labour itself was extremely traumatic in a number of respects. Firstly, the hospital staff made me feel like they were doing me a favour and I was induced at 10:30pm, half an hour before the shift change, so as to accommodate the oncoming shift, despite being exhausted from a very emotional day. Secondly, queries by myself, my husband or my labour coach were dismissed as bothersome. Any efforts on our part to create a different kind of labour experience were met with disdain if not direct opposition such as a desire to remove the monitor temporarily, to walk around the labour ward, to change positions etc.
Finally, I don't feel as if I received any support from the staff to boost my confidence in my ability to birth my baby. This feeling was increased when my failure to progress, after having spent 7 hours at 6cm dilation, was met with the on-call dr's saying "either labour progresses in the next half hour or you'll go for a c/s" and saying again after having gotten an epidural (for which I had to wait 3 hours, which took me to 10cm in a matter of minutes) that if the baby wasn't delivered in half an hour I'd again be taken for a c/s.
Fortunately, my son was delivered in exactly 30 minutes weighing 4.32 kg. I don't know if the dr's response was due to my weight or not. The placenta took more than 40 minutes to be delivered and then the midwives were not sure if it was complete. By the time the dr. checked it, I was hemorrhaging, and he had to do an emergency manual D&C without any anesthetic (100 times more painful than childbirth), then I went into shock and had to have a blood transfusion.
Needless to say, I was traumatized. I felt as if I'd been physically and emotionally raped. My body had been invaded, pushed and shoved, pulled and manipulated. It took me many months to realize the extent of the trauma I'd been through. I don't know how much of my experiences with the medical staff was due to my weight but another significant factor that cannot be ignored is the fact that I am an English-speaking immigrant in a Middle Eastern country - the cultural gap is significant and the attitudes towards birth very different. I do know that they definitely did nothing to reassure me that it wasn't my fault and at my six week check-up I discussed these events with my private dr. who reassured me that it had nothing to do with my weight.
Third Pregnancy, Second Birth: My second baby's birth was an extremely exciting and spiritual event and this is my birth story. After my first baby 2.5 years earlier, I was terrified of labor. My son's birth was preceded by 6 weeks of medical intervention which left me feeling like my body was awful and couldn't function as it should have and that my size was the cause of all the problems.
It took a long time but by the time my daughter was conceived, I had begun to like my pregnant body. As the pregnancy continued my self-esteem grew and that confidence was boosted by a completely uneventful pregnancy. For the first time ever I felt like my body wasn't betraying me and I began to respect my body. So although as my due date approached I began to feel anxious, I tried to get in touch with my body and show respect for the process that was happening inside of me. On Friday afternoon I took a bath in lavender oil to help me relax and continued with my visualizations which I'd been doing in the last few weeks - imagining my uterus opening up and allowing by baby to be born through it.
My water broke at 4:30 am the following morning, the day before my due date and since I didn't have any contractions I followed my doula's instructions to stay at home and waited. I spent a lovely day with my family and friends until early evening when I contacted my doctor who asked me to come in. I arrived at the hospital some 16 hours after my waters broke and had managed to induce contractions using nipple stimulation for a half hour in the car on the way in. I was 4cm dilated and 80% effaced and barely feeling the contractions.
My OB gave me a hospital room to rest in for the night and said he'd see me in the morning or when anything started happening. I sent my husband to my brother's house nearby and told him to get some sleep. I decided to try having a shower to see if that would help move things along. By the time I got out of the shower a short time later, my contractions were strong and I was feeling shaky in between the contractions. I was a little nervous so I called my doula who said it was time for her to come.
At 1:15 am my husband and doula arrived at the hospital. For the next three hours I experienced strong but irregular contractions. I varied my positions and walked a lot to accelerate labor but by 4:30 I was only having contractions every 15 minutes. By now, I'd been up for 24 hours so I decided to get some rest. After sleeping for two hours, my OB returned and checked me. I was now 5cm and 100% effaced and very disappointed and very fearful of repeating the scenario of my first birth with a pitocin induction, stalled labor and baby in distress. Since I had discussed these fears with my doula and OB during the pregnancy we had worked out how I would handle such a similar scenario and thus when my OB said he had to use pitocin to get labor going I knew I would get an epidural to help me with the pain.
It was 9am by the time the pitocin was started and my epidural was already in place. The labor went very quickly from then on and although despite two attempts with the epidural, it was not working as it should. By 12:35pm I was 9cm dilated and felt the need to push. For 25 minutes my doula worked with me to help me concentrate on not pushing and at exactly 1:00pm my OB said "okay, push" - the words I had been waiting for. Exactly 6 minutes and three contractions later my beautiful daughter was born. She was delivered straight onto my stomach and my husband cut the cord. A few minutes later the placenta was delivered and I had one stitch to repair a very minor tear. My daughter nursed immediately and we were left alone to bond and rest. A short while after the birth I hopped of the bed, freshened up and walked to the maternity ward full of energy albeit tired.
My doula had been a wonderful source of emotional support and physical help. She knew what my concerns were and was able to help me through the fear as well as rub my back between contractions and give a lot of encouragement. My OB was wonderful also in that he gave me the space to try for the type of birth I wanted. My OB treated me, throughout, like any other pregnant woman and made no comment about my weight. When I asked him about having a higher chance of GD or PIH he said that we'll deal with that if and when we need to. At no time during the pregnancy or labor did he make me feel handicapped by my weight but rather was tremendously encouraging and positive. My husband was there the whole time and I cannot imagine going through birth without his continued presence and support. Throughout, I felt surrounded by people who were caring and considerate of my feelings and what I was going through and they all helped me make this birth experience the best it could be.
Heather's Story (baby malposition, 2 vaginal births)
Kmom's Notes: #1 is another baby malposition story! It's not clear, but it looks like this one was not truly turned around, just a little 'off', since it was easily corrected by a vacuum extractor. Baby was probably asynclitic or a tad transverse in the head only. Baby #2 came easily and quickly; see what a difference a properly positioned baby can make!
Birth Story
I had my first baby when I was 19. After a comfortable and uneventful pregnancy I went into labor 1 week shy of my due date. I knew I was already dilated 3 cm. and 90% effaced from a doctors appointment a few days earlier.
For the last three months I had told my doctor that the baby didn't move much, and he seemed okay with that, but when I went in to the hospital with contractions 4 minutes apart they were very concerned that I hadn't felt her move very much. They immediately put monitors on me and ordered an ultrasound, apparently I had little to no amniotic fluid. They tried to rupture my membranes, but nothing happened. I stayed in bed on my back with a rolled towel under my right side for 17 hours and I had three failed attempts at an epidural- so I was feeling everything.
I started to push at 9pm, she moved less than 1 cm in almost three hours of pushing. She started dropping her heart rate with each contraction. My OB walks in and announces without explanation he will try to vacuum-extract her and if doesn't work in the next ten minutes I will be having an emergency c-section. We found out her head was stuck because it was rotated the wrong direction and she came out within a few minutes with the vacuum. I was thinking "Why didn't you do that 2 hours ago?". She was born at 11:50 pm. She was quiet and needed a little stimulation to breathe. She went straight to the nursery and was on an oxygen hood for the night. She in now a perfectly healthy four year-old.
My second daughter was a completely different experience. My water broke at home. We went to the hospital; I was not having contractions I could feel. They started me on pitocin, I had an epidural and slept on and off for a few hours. I was stuck at 5 cm for about three hours and they called in my midwife. When she checked me I was 8cm. She said she'd be back in 30 minutes to see how dilated I was- fifteen minutes later I had to send my mother to get her because the baby was coming- NOW!
Two good pushes later K came into the world at 2:31am. I held her for three hours and got to nurse her. Her birth was a much more pleasant story. My second baby was a wonderful vaginal delivery, except for needing the pitocin.
Kmom's Notes:
Birth
Homebirth, labored in a pool, birthed on a bed. "FanTAStic!!!"
Kmom Note: We are still waiting for the rest of Sandra's story.
B.G.'s Story (normal vaginal birth)
Kmom's Notes:
Birth Story
Two days before my due date, I woke up at 5, feeling "something". I felt it every 5 minutes, lasting 30 seconds, so I knew these were contractions, it wasn't painful, but I couldn't sleep, so I watched some TV. At 7 my husband woke up, we showered, got dressed, and drove to the Dr's office. I was 100% effaced, not dilated, but my blood pressure was higher than usual, so he sent me to the hospital.
We arrived there at 12 noon, I was told to walk around for 2 hours to see if we can get things moving and yep, it got things moving ! Contractions were now 2-3 minutes apart, lasting 45 seconds, painful but the breathing technique I used really helped. At 2:30 the Dr checked me, I was 3 cm dilated so he sent me up to the L&D room. I then took a long shower till 3:30 which was WONDERFUL, couldn't feel the contractions. We later on learned that my water broke in the shower. The midwife checked me - 3.5 cm.
An hour later I wanted some ease from the pain and asked for an epidural. The anesthesiologist arrived quickly, the nurse checked me, I was 6 cm. It took him 2 trials until he got the needle in (didn't hurt at all). The nurse checked again - I was 9 cm, and started feeling the need to push, so the nurse told him to put only a bit of the stuff, just to take the edge off, since I am going to be pushing soon, and need to feel the contractions. The epidural was great, I felt the contractions but they weren't painful.
I only had about 10 minutes to enjoy this and then I was 10 cm and felt the need to push. It took about 6 hard pushes and at 6 she was out. My beautiful baby girl was born !!!
April's Story (induction, vaginal birth)
Kmom's Notes:
Birth Story
I had a doctor's appointment the morning of December 23rd, one of our weekly checkups at that point. Our favorite doctor was on that day, thank goodness. She did the internal exam and found me to be 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced. She said that we probably would go into labor anytime now or she could get things going for us. We opted for the induction so we'd have a little more control over the situation. Or so we thought.
The doctor stripped my membrane then and told us to get to the hospital, which is right next door, to be induced. We didn't have our labor bag with us, not expecting to go to the hospital that day. The doctor said for DH to get me checked in and then he'd have plenty of time to get home, get our stuff and get back. DH took me to the hospital and got me checked in. The doctor came in and broke my waters, and the nurses started up my IV with some Pitocin. My other labor partner, K, came in and DH headed home. I started having contractions right after she broke my water and then the Pitocin kicked in.
The nurses turned it up I think three times or so until the contractions were 1 - 2 minutes apart. It was right about then that I got sick for the first time. It happened once more after that and I was very glad that I hadn't eaten much that morning. I only had an orange and some juice that the nurses gave me when I started into labor. Then I decided enough was enough and I asked for some pain meds. The nurse checked me and I was four cm at that point, so they gave me a dose of Nubain. I was a little loopy for the rest of the time. DH called on his cell phone to check on me and let me know he was on his way. I told him the contractions were 1 - 2 minutes apart and that he'd better step on it. He got there and helped me through the next 45 minutes of contractions. My memory of this time period is really fuzzy thanks to the drugs and the amnesia, but he tells me my contractions came pretty much one on top of the other from then on.
I guess we should have figured out that I was in transition at that point. I remember having really weird contractions that I could not breathe through all of a sudden. Then I remember the nurse checking me again and telling us that I was 10 cm dilated and had no cervix left. We were ready to push! I'm thinking, push?!?! I just had my pain meds an hour ago and I was only 4 cm dilated. Are you sure? Now I realize that those weird contractions were that wonderful sensation/overwhelming need to push. The nurses told DH later that they have never seen anyone dilate that fast on the Nubain. That happens with the intrathecal fentanyl, but not usually the Nubain.
They got me set up in the stirrups in a semi-sitting position and told me to go ahead and push. On the first push, they could see her head. Pushing itself was very satisfying. It felt good to push and I never thought I'd be saying that. It was such an overwhelming need to push that baby out. I still can't get over that part of it. I don't remember hearing anyone else's voice except my husband's for most of the delivery. He kept coaching me to push and counting out loud for each 10 count during the contractions. Then her head delivered. The doctor suctioned out her nose and mouth a little and then helped her shoulders to turn. Then she reached back to pick up a blanket keeping one hand on the baby's head. Just then I had a contraction and she came shooting out with a whoosh! The doctor almost dropped her she came so fast. My labor partner, who is an EMT, jumped to help catch her. But, she was fine and the doctor put her on my stomach. I remember being just amazed that this little warm, slippery creature had just come out of me and was now crying on my stomach.
We were both doing well by the next day so the doctors said we could go home on Christmas Eve. So, we had our little girl home in time for Christmas. Many a tear was shed that night and the next day between DH and I. Our daughter is a wonderful baby and we feel blessed everyday to have her with us. She was conceived after 2 1/2 years of trying without help and after 9 months on 50mg and then 100mg of Clomid.
If you are still reading this long story and are trying to become pregnant, don't give up. It can be done and don't let anyone discourage you because of your size either. I weighed 224 lbs at her conception, gained 25 lbs during my pregnancy and have lost 15 pounds since her birth. I had no problems with my weight, blood pressure, diabetes or anything else. And my labor was only four hours from start to finish. Women of size can have healthy children just like everyone else.
Carol C's Story (PCO, Group B Strep, vaginal birth)
Kmom's Notes: Carol's story of back labor, difficult pain, waters breaking before labor, and having difficulty dilating beyond 3 cm at first raises the question of malposition (posterior or asynclitic, etc.). However, either that was not really the problem or the position corrected itself because her labor proceeded on to a normal vaginal birth. Also note that this baby was almost 10 and a half pounds; according to many OBs, this is 'too big' to birth normally, but obviously Carol had little trouble.
Birth Story
The only time my doctor ever mentioned my weight was when I was losing too much from queasiness during the first trimester - and even that was just to make sure that I was TRYING to eat sensibly and not trying to diet during pregnancy.
My whole pregnancy was pretty uneventful. Morning sickness was limited to queasiness and disinterest in food - I hardly ever actually got sick. My blood pressure was always fine. All those other routine tests they do were always fine.
I was still feeling pretty good when we checked into the hospital, and determined to have a natural birth, in spite of back labor. We had taken a Bradley class, and were prepared with a bag full of massage toys. DH was getting me through the contractions okay. That is, until 8 hours had gone by since water breaking, and I hadn't gotten past 3 cm. :( The doctor on call insisted that we start the pitocin, because of the Group B Strep.
I was still handling it okay, until the second time they increased the drip. There were a yucky couple of hours there, with lots of vomiting (MAN, was I glad that I wasn't the one who had to clean up my messes!), sweating and moaning. And so I caved and asked for the epidural. The pit had done its job though, because when the anesthesiologist got there, I was at 6 cm, and by the time they finally got the epidural right (3rd try), I was at 9 +.
I'm disappointed that we didn't have the birth of my dreams, but I'm happy with how things turned out. I really did feel great after the epidural, and pushing was a breeze. I got to have a mirror, and that was really neat! My nurse massaged and stretched me for an hour, and I give her some credit for me not having to get an episiotomy and only having minor tears with my big boy. :) Well, my wide hips might have had something to do with it. too!
My precious son is just the most wonderful little person in the whole wide world, and I'm thanking God several times a day for blessing us so greatly. Being a mommy is just so indescribably wonderful!
Atheena R's Story (Supersized, induction, vaginal birth)
Kmom's Notes: Another case where the doctor induced early because the 'baby looks like it's going to be big'. The concern here is needing a c/s because the baby is 'too big' to fit through, or the shoulders getting stuck as they come out (shoulder dystocia, a potential emergency). Research shows that inducing early for 'big baby' does not improve outcomes or lower the rate of shoulder dystocia, and often actually raises the c/s rate strongly, sometimes to >50%. However, inducing early for macrosomia continues to be standard procedure anyhow, especially with larger women, who tend to have larger babies as a group. [Also note that her baby turned out to be not particularly big.]
This mother also tore excessively during the birth. Kmom wonders if this is because the doctor did manage to start an episiotomy after all (episiotomies tend to result in much greater tearing, and the doctor apparently did already have the scalpel in hand), or if she tore so much because she pushed so hard to try to avoid an imminent episiotomy. Repair of this led to a great deal of intervention, including sedation, intubation, and catheterization. Different care might have been able to avoid all this intervention, although it's hard to say for sure.
Birth Story
At my 39-week appointment, the doctor I saw said that my latest ultrasound indicated that my baby might be large, so she explained the dangers of shoulder dystocia and suggested I get an induction that weekend. I said okay. Then as I was driving home from the appointment, I was in a haze. "Hmm. I'm having a baby this weekend. Hmmm."
I went in Sunday for a Cervadil treatment, which did nothing, so they sent me home. Before I left, then inserted another Cervadil application, which came out a few hours later when I lost my mucous plug (although I didn't know that was what happened at the time).
The next morning I went back to the hospital, and was on pitocin ALL day. I had contractions, but they weren't particularly bothersome. When I described them as 'bad menstrual cramps', the nurses were a little discouraged. I was not really dilating or effacing either. That night they turned the pitocin drip down so that I could sleep, but Tuesday morning bright and early they cranked it back up. A series of doctors from my OB group dropped by during the course of my delivery. They had an on-call system and I think I went through 4 of them during my stay. One of them was the doctor with whom I had most of my appointments, an older man who seemed to know everything about the childbirth process. He was surprised to see me there, felt my tummy, and said, "You know, I really don't think this baby is going to be that big."
Tuesday around 5, they were just about ready to send me home again as a 'failed induction' when my water broke. I was VERY happy, because the pitocin drip was getting a little tiresome by then. According to my birth class, I thought a baby was supposed to be delivered within 24 hours of the rupture. I could not WAIT to get the whole labor thing over with.
During the night, however, I still didn't dilate or efface much. I think I was about 75% effaced, maybe 4 cm. Wednesday morning came, and I met yet another doctor. He told me his goal was to have me delivered no later than sunrise Thursday morning. The thought of 24 more hours of constant contractions was a little too much to bear, and I burst into tears.
Since my water had broken, they were able to use the internal monitors, and discovered that my mild contractions were actually quite strong---they just didn't bother me. Wednesday, I also got a new nurse. She told me that I needed to get up and move around a bit, and that would help labor progress. Until then, I had been told to sit in bed and not move. My DH had a dentist appointment that after noon and was agonizing over whether to go (he had broken his tooth a week before and this was the first appointment he could get). We decided he needed to go and I'd page him if by some miracle it actually looked like I was going to give birth.
When he got back, he had smuggled contraband! Donuts! I hadn't eaten in 3 days (except popsickles and jello), so after my first pain shot (a synthetic narcotic), I had half a donut. 5 minutes later I vomited donut and jello all over myself. [Kmom note: This is one of the possible side effects of this type of pain medication.] I didn't eat again, and after my second shot, I made a point of asking for an emesis bucket, so I was prepared for when I vomited.
By now it was around 6 p.m. and the contractions were actually becoming a little painful. And I couldn't tell if I needed to use the bathroom, or if I needed to push. I was given a choice: I could get pain medication now but not use the bathroom, or I could go to the bathroom and then get the meds. I told them I might need to push, so she checked, and sure enough, the baby was on its way! I was given the shot, threw up, but the next 30 minutes were a blur. I remember the lights being turned down, the nurses yelling, "She's pushing, we need some help in here!" One of the nurses suggested that my DH and I each hold one of my legs back until they set up the bed for delivery. Finally, everything was ready and I remember snoozing between contractions.
On my birth plan, I had indicated that unless there was a compelling reason, I didn't want an episiotomy. The doctor said he was going to do one, and I think I said I didn't really want one. He told me that the baby's heartbeat was dropping a little, so if it didn't come out on the next push, he was going to do it. I think he had already given me the local. Well, at the next contraction, I pushed with all my might, and SWISH, out she came! I may be making this up, but I swear I saw the doctor put down the scalpel in shock before he caught the baby. They wiped her off a bit, then put her on my chest. As I was looking down at her, I felt another "WHOOSH" and I actually said aloud, "Oh, that must be the placenta." (Nobody told me it was coming, and I'd sort of forgotten about it with all the excitement.)
She was very cute. But apparently they were not able to repair the tearing in the delivery room, so my DH got the baby (he wa