by Kmom
Copyright © 2000-2009 KMom@Vireday.Com. All rights reserved.
DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is not intended and should not be construed as medical advice. Consult your health provider.
BBW Birth Story Pages
Table Of Contents
Many women over the years have requested a section for birth stories of plus-sized moms. Women of size come into pregnancy with so many fears and body issues that reassurance that other large women have indeed done this is important. Pregnancy books and most websites do not fulfill this need; mostly they are filled with warnings about "obesity" and pregnancy, admonitions not to get pregnant until you lose weight, dire predictions of disastrous pregnancies filled with complications, or horror stories designed to scare you into weight loss compliance.
Although there are many birth stories online, most are of women of average-size. While these are also important to read, many women of size have longed for a collection of stories of plus-sized pregnancy---normal births, complications, special births, just plain births---warts and all. It is important for us to see that many of our fat sisters have traveled this journey before us.
This is a collection of BBW (Big Beautiful Women) birth stories collected by Kmom over the years. Stories have been separated into various categories (vaginal birth, c-sections, twins, gd stories, etc.). Because some stories fit more than one category, many will repeat on different pages. Some stories are already up on the web in a more complete form elsewhere; with the mother's permission, Kmom has linked to these sites and urges readers to click on the link and read the more complete story.
Unless specifically requested, all identifying information has been removed or changed to protect the privacy of the participants.
All stories are copyrighted; none may be used elsewhere without specific written permission from both Kmom and the mother involved.
This particular FAQ gives readers further information on how to submit their own birth stories for inclusion in the BBW Birth Stories FAQs. It includes the birth story format that is to be used, and information on submission guidelines. New birth stories are always welcome; Kmom updates the birth stories FAQs about once a year so be patient for your story to show up.
How To Submit Your Own Birth Story
Note: Please follow the following directions EXTREMELY carefully, as follow-ups and clarifications take a great deal of time away from Kmom's family. Kmom's children thank you!
If you wish to submit your birth story, please
You need to fill out the form at the bottom of this FAQ in order to provide some basic information (which helps sort the stories), then include your birth story. If your story already appears elsewhere on the web, feel free to fill out the format and give a basic summary of the story, and then submit the link to your page. If you have pictures of your birth that you plan to leave up online indefinitely and you don't mind sharing these with the world, you can also submit a link to the online pictures.
It is also vitally important that you explicitly state permission in your email for Kmom to use your birth story on this website and/or in any future publications (such as a book or magazine article on plus-sized pregnancy). Please remember to give specific permission to use your birth story. If a story is sent without explicit permission, such permission will be assumed, since you sent it in to her unsolicited, but Kmom strongly prefers to have explicitly stated permission. If you would like to have the story appear on the website but nowhere else, you can specifically request that too. Otherwise, Kmom may use your story or portions of your story for other publications as well.
Type in your story, but please be succinct in order to save space on Kmom's website. Simplify your story as much as you can. We don't need to know about every contraction, but rather hit only the most important highlights. Relate what kind of treatment you experienced as a woman of size, helpful hints for pregnancy, what best helped you prepare for labor, lessons you learned, etc. Think about what you would most like to tell other women from your experience, what would have been most helpful to you to have heard when you were pregnant, what the main lessons from your experience were, what you learned as a woman of size, etc.
Please edit your story for content, clarity, and errors. The more typos and errors you catch, the fewer that Kmom has to correct! Please note, Kmom does edit for grammar and spelling if needed, but this adds a lot of extra work so she'd strongly prefer if you did this for yourself. Also look back and see if your story can be shortened. The blow-by-blow version with extreme detail that you write for your own memory is not what we want for the site; rather a summary of your experience, hints you have for other women, lessons you learned, etc. is what is most helpful to other women of size reading these stories.
Email your story to Kmom, at kmom at plus-size-pregnancy dot org. Please do not use an attachment!!! With all of the viruses circulating online these days, Kmom will not open any attachments. Please fill out the form below, then paste your birth story in text form into the body of your email. Please do NOT use html in your email or any fancy fonts. Please use plain text only.
Please Fill Out This Form and Send It with Your Story
Here is the form you need to fill out to go with your story:
Birth Story
Type in your birth story here; no attachments please!
Then email your story to kmom at plus-size-pregnancy dot org and mark it 'birth story'. Kmom reserves the right to edit and add commentary to the stories.
Privacy online is a strong concern for many women. Please note that Kmom omits most personal information from the stories and strongly encourages women to use initials, 'pen names', or anonymity for the published version of their stories.
Even women who are convinced they want to use their real names change their mind in the future, and then Kmom has to go back and re-edit all the stories, which is a lot of work. Therefore Kmom strongly discourages the use of proper names (and especially of full names). Try to use pen names or initials instead if at all possible.
What Kind of Birth Stories Should Be Shared
Kmom welcomes all types of birth stories, including wonderful empowering births, 'average' birth stories, so-so stories, and horror stories of disempowerment or assault. All types of birth stories have lessons to teach us. Please don't feel like your birth story "isn't good enough" to share.
ALL BIRTH STORIES ARE WELCOME.
Kmom strives to present all different kinds of birth stories, from the most highly interventive to the least interventive, from cesarean section stories to vaginal birth stories, from births that take place in high-risk OB units to births that take place at home in the water or even unattended. The point is to represent a wide variety of births.
Kmom particularly wants to collect stories of beautiful, natural vaginal birth in order to contradict the popular medical viewpoint that large women cannot have a normal birth experience---too many books contain only the scare tactics of how 'high-risk' our births must be.
Women of size can and DO give birth normally all the time, and often without medication or other interventions! Being large does not have to mean lots of intervention or unusual care. If you have a wonderful birth experience, please take time to share it with other big moms so they can be inspired! (Notice that the largest section of stories in this FAQ is the collection of vaginal births---normal vaginal births, vaginal births under special circumstances, and vaginal births after cesarean. Most of the time, birth works---whether the body is fat or of average size.)
However, sometimes large women also experience horror stories in birth, just as average-sized women do. These experiences should also be heard. In addition, some large women definitely experience fat-phobic care, and these experiences need to be documented so that cautionary lessons can be learned from them.
Therefore, Kmom strongly urges women with these types of experiences to share them as well. These are often difficult to write about, but many women find that the writing begins the healing process. This has been Kmom's experience as well. Starting the writing is the hardest part, but the more you write and speak of it, the more healing takes place. Unresolved grief stays in the body and often harms us further. Getting it out is the first step on the path towards healing.
Kmom will periodically update and insert new stories in the FAQ as they accumulate and as her children permit! At times this may be only once a year (or less some years), so please be patient. Check the FAQs every 6 months or so to see if they've been updated.
Thank you so much for your interest in sharing your stories. Many big moms have written appreciatively about how helpful they have found these stories. In particular, it is helpful to see such a wide variety of BBW birth experiences and to learn the lessons inherent in them.
May your stories also inspire and teach lessons to all the future big moms who may read them!
--------Kmom
Copyright © 2000-2009 KMom@Vireday.Com. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be reprinted, reproduced or sold, either by itself or as part of a larger work, without the express written permission of the author; this restriction covers all publication media, electrical, chemical, mechanical or other such as may arise over time.